Have you ever enjoyed a free lunch provided by senior people at your company? It’s documented that 94% employees report that taking a lunch during the workday improves their performance at work.
Another offering is chair massages. Yes! When your boss recognizes that everyone benefits from mid-day relaxation coupled with social connection, work feels better. Studies show that providing employee support actually improves recruitment and retention, thereby reducing turnover.
But what happens when your senior leaders provide an opportunity to brush up on your communication skills? Everyone’s head drops in despair. They think, “Oh, I’ve been referred to speech class. What’s wrong with me? They want to change me.
I’ve personally seen it where employees will literally quit working for a company because of being offended by suggestions for self-development. Free lunch and massages are workplace must-haves. Free skills development that creates a more cohesive team and an effective work environment is a nice-to-have.
Why do your employees or teams get offended when you try to help them
Simply put, nobody likes unsolicited suggestions to improve themselves. A great analogy is telling your partner they’ve gained a few pounds, then offering to pay for a gym membership. You legitimately care about this person’s well-being, so you offer help. Then, it backfires.
The ‘perpetrator’ in this “helping” scenario is viewed as condescending, criticizing, and rude. The ‘victim’ feels vulnerable, negative, and flawed.
How to suggest improvement so it’s productive
When you feel nervous about how employees will receive feedback, it’s a red flag that you need to brush up on your communication. Suggesting improvement is both a style of speech and a learned communication skill.
I’ve witnessed this framework, quite beautifully to be honest, with a city government I’m currently working with. Here’s how they framed the communication with their employees.
- Set the expectation- The department established a department-wide program initiative focused on leadership development. They invited all contracted support professionals to a company-wide meet and greet. Employees were well-informed about the purpose and plan of action to improve staff performance ahead of individual meetings.
- Identify the topic- “As you know, we’ve established a leadership initiative to support everyone’s leadership skills throughout the organization. One of the areas of support is communication coaching. ”
- Ask for their understanding- “I need to know what areas of communication you might need support with?”
- Assert your point of view- “Based on what you shared, I agree/ disagree. I’d like to provide feedback on ways we believe your communication could be more effective.
- Allow time to process- “Do you need a moment to reflect before we go deeper into the discussion?”
- Review shared understanding- “All of our team members have different levels of communication skills when it comes to delivering presentations to the Board. Here’s what we see works and what can be improved. We believe your presentations can be improved by… ”
- Expect an emotional response- Whether the reaction is positive or negative, ask them to expand on their reaction and allow them time to process the suggestion.
- Explain what happens next- “This is the path we suggest you explore. We truly hope you receive our suggestion to help you grow as a leader. While this recommendation is not mandatory, we as a company want to invest in you and we hope you see this as a positive step in your leadership transformation.”
- Plan of action- Provide contact information and set a timeline for contacting the support personnel. Allow for a generous amount of time for your employee to reach out. “We encourage you to reach out to the professional whom we’ve contracted to support your communication skills. We have X amount of time before the end of the fiscal year, so we encourage you to reach out sooner rather than later. ”
- Follow-up- Be patient and give grace. It’s expected that the employee may postpone reaching out to get help. Understand that self-development is a new project they need to incorporate into their busy schedule.
- Document- Keep a record of your conversations and recommendations for later performance reviews.
Reference: SPIKES Protocol
Interested in learning more transformational communication strategies? Please email laura@memphisspeech.com or book a consult at Calendly.com/LauraBresee
