Learn to love the voice you have by listening to it! I understand it’s not so simple.
When a new client complains of hating their voice, I ask, “Do you ever listen to your voice on an audio recording?” The typical reply is, “No, I cringe when I listen to my voice. I do not listen to my voice under any circumstance.” One YouTube commenter shared having a panic attack just thinking about listening to her voice.
The importance of listening cannot be overstated. Replaying your voice on audio or video energizes your auditory sensory experience to modify your voice for different types of speaking tasks.
Picture this different scenario. Remove all the mirrors from your home. The only time you are permitted to look in a mirror is just before an important event. Having no visual feedback about your appearance for months, or years, do you think you will appreciate seeing yourself? Likely not. Re-gaining your visual sense of your appearance after a long absence, your self-judgment most likely will lean toward the negative. The same applies to your voice.
Routinely listening to your voice allows you to hear the full range of your vocal abilities. Listening to your voice under a variety of conditions, such as when you are comfortable, excited, happy, determined, emotional, etc, provides a broad auditory sample of your vocal quality and range. Conversely, listening only when it’s important that you speak well under stress means you only hear your vocal quality within one parameter.
Great speakers and actors know their voices well. They know how to adapt their vocal ability to the situation. My recommendation is to practice like the experts do: Record your voice and listen often so you learn to produce the vocal qualities most pleasing to your ears.
